Chapter 199

Philip's POV

I forced myself to sit up, despite the violent throbbing in my temples.The empty bottles scattered around me told a story that filled me with shame.My mnother stood by the window, her designer handbag tucked tightly under her arm, clearly preparing to leave.

"Did you just call Annie?" I asked, my voice barely recognizable, hoarse from alcohol and silence.

Mother's posture stiffened slightly. "Yes," she answered simply.

Even that single syllable sent a wave of emotion through me-perhaps desperation, perhaps hope. Any connection to Annie, even indirect,was like oxygen to me.

"What did you talk about? What did she say?" I leaned forward, ignoring the stabbing pain behind my eyes.

Mother sighed dramatically, her perfectly manicured hand adjusting her diamond necklace-a nervous habit she'd had for years. "I don't know what Annie Baker's heart is made of. I told her about your condition,asked her to come take care of you, but she refused!" Her voice rose with indignation. "You were husband and wife,after all..."

A bitter laugh escaped my lips. "After everything I did, it's only natural she wouldn't forgive me."

My betrayal was undeniable. I had broken Annie's trust and love. I had been drawn to Sarah's allure, failing to cherish my marriage with Annie.Step by step, I'd allowed myself to falI into feelings I shouldn't have had, pushing Annie further away until she couldn't stand it anymore and left me,and now...

"Besides," I continued, "she probably never wants to see me again. Why would she come take care of a drunk?"

I felt moisture on my cheeks, realizing I was crying. How pathetic-a once-powerful Wall Street executive reducedto this, weeping over a woman he had abandoned.

"Looking like this, and you're still defending her?" Mother's voice carried that familiar sharp edge that used to make me straighten my back instantly as a child.

"Mom, please stop interfering in my affairs." Suddenly, I felt exhausted by her presence. "Ill handle my own problems. You should go home now."

She stood up immediately, her cheeks flushing. "How could I possibly do that? You're my only son!" Her voice trembled slightly. "To see you drowning your sorrows over a woman... do you know how painful this is for me?"

"I know." I closed my eyes, a fresh wave of pain unrelated to my hangover washing over me.

Annie's face flashed in my mind-how she used to organize our home,manage my social calendar, even categorize my wardrobe by color and season. I had taken it all for granted. Now that she was gone, it felt like someone had dug out part of my heart with a dull knife.

"In the past, I was your good son, always listening to you," I opened my eyes to look at my mother. "You said Annie was no good, that Sarah was better. I listened to you-I distanced myself from Annie, grew closer toSarah..."

I struggled to sit straighter, meeting her gaze directly. "And what happened? Annie left me and found someone better. And here I sit,missing her hopelessly!"

Mother shifted uncomfortably. "How was I supposed to know you liked Annie?" She adjusted her designer jacket. "You acted like you were just settling for Annie, that your heart was all for Sarah. If Annie hadn't been clinging to her position as your wife, you would have reconciled with Sarah long ago." She paused, then added, "I truly thought you loved Sarah.

I shook my head violently, a sharp pain washing through my entire body."Enough!" I almost shouted, my fist coming down hard on the sofa armrest. "This is all my fault! Never try to excuse me!"

My eyes burned, my voice shaking, "I'm a coward, a damn coward! No courage to face my own feelings, no backbone to resist temptation, no guts to fight for the life I truly wanted!" My breathing became heavy, my chest feeling like it was being gripped tightly, "I destroyed everything with my own hands..."

"You're only unhappy now because Annie found someone better after the divorce and is living a better life," Mother continued, her tone becoming defensive. "If she hadn't met Howard, if she were working as a waitress in some restaurant, washing dishes, would you still regret your actions?"

The image my mother painted flashed in my mind-Annie washing dishes in some restaurant while I drove by in a luxury car. The thought made my chest constrict painfully.

But even as the thought formed, I knew how absurd it was. A w oman like

Annie would never end up in such a situation. With her Boston University education, emotional stability, and impeccable character, she could easily find work in any field she chose. Even withou Howard Thompson, Annie would thrive.

This thought brought another kind of pain. In every future scenario I could imagine. Annie realized she didn't need any man-especially me-and thoroughly moved on with her life.

"Just wait." Mother stood up, smoothing her skirt with decisive movements."Tomorrow morning I'll go to Howard's company and tell him to break up with Annie. Won't that solve everything?"

I almost laughed. Mother's confidence was almost comical-as if Howard Thompson, CEO of a successful tech company,would simply follow Betty Baker's instructions.

Too exhausted to argue further, I answered, "Fne,you go ahead."

Mother patted mny shoulder, her heavy perfume momentarily overpowering the stale alcohol smell permeating the apartment. "Look, Annie went straight from college to marrying you, and immediately attached herself to Howard after the divorce," she said in a lecuring tone. "What does that prove? Only that she can't live without a man."

She walked toward the door. "She claims to be independent and able to earn money, but that's only when she has a man sheltering her. Without a man, she is nothing."

The door closed behind her, and the apartment suddenly felt both vast and oppressive.

I stared blankly at the ceiling, tracing the faint water stain that had been there since I moved in. I felt like I was sick-no matter what I looked at,Annie's face would eventually appear in my vision. Her smile, her eyes, the way her nose slightly wrinkled when she spoke.

I closed my eyes, only to find her image becoming even clearer.