Chapter 21
Annie's POV
"Will you marry me?"
Yes.
The word "yes" formed instantly in my heart, but my lips wouldn't move.
Howard's words hung in the moonlit hallway, his dark eyes fixed on mine with an intensity that made my breath catch. In that moonlit hallway,every insecurity I'd been fighting since coming here crashed over me like a wave.
The whispers in the company cafeteria, the disapproving glances at charity events, Sarah's cutting remarks about my background- they all echoed in my mind,drowning out the yes my heart wanted to scream.
I thought of Howard in the boardroom, commanding respect with every gesture. Howard at social events, moving effortlessly through a world I barely understood. Howard in his perfectly tailored suits that probably cost more than I used to make in a month. Then I thought of myself -a divorced mother from Boston who still felt lost in this glittering world of his "I apologize." Howard's voice cut through my spiral of self-doubt, his usual controlled tone carrying a hint of uncertainty. "That was... abrupt." "It's fine," I mnanaged, though nothing about this situation felt fine. I was torn between wanting to run and wanting to throw myself into his arms,to pretend for just a moment that I could belong in his world. "But you should give it serious thought." His steady gaze made my heart race, even as my mind whispered that I would never be enough for someone like him.
"Can I ask why?" The question slipped out, part of me hoping his answer would somehow bridge the chasm I felt between us. "Why do you want to marry me?"
"Because Lucy likes you very much."
His practical response hit differently than it might have before. It wasn't that his words hurt-they just confirmed what I already knew. I wasn't the sophisticated woman his mother wanted for him. I wasn't the polished socialite his board would approve of. I was just Annie Baker, who happened to be good with his niece.
"She hasn't accepted any other woman since I became her guardian,"Howard continued, in a hesitant voice- or maybe I was just imagining that hesitation. "I don't plan to waste time on relationships, so I've thought this through carefully. Us being together would be the best choice."
A small, bitter smile touched my lips. Even if he did have feelings for me beyond practicality, how long until he realized I would never fit into his world? How long until the magic of our stolen moments faded and he saw me as everyone else did- the outsider playing at belonging?
"Sorry," I whispered, the word carrying the weight of all my fears and inadequacies."I can't." Sorry,not in this way. The next afternoon, Lucy burst through the mansion's doors with unusual energy,her face flushed with excitement.
"Mom!" She ran straight into my arms, and I pushed aside the guilty pleasure I still felt at hearing that word. "Brian apologized to me today!"
I knelt to her level, studying her bright expression. "He did? What happened?"
"He came up to me at recess and said he was sorry for being mean." She fidgeted with the hem of her uniform. "Then he left really fast."
Something about that struck me as odd, but Lucy was already moving on to her next thought.
"Mom, I want to learn gymnastics."
I blinked at the sudden change of subject. "Why suddenly want to learn?"
Lucy's expression grew serious. "So next time someone says mean things,I can defend myself."
My heart ached at the implication, but I kept my voice steady. "Self-defense is important, but there are many ways to handle mean words.Would you like to talk about what happened?"
"Nothing happened since last time Brian had said those mean words.I'd just like to learn stuff." She shook her head, determination shining in her eyes."Then that's fine. I will talk to Howard." At the mention of Howard,I couldn't help but find myself a bit distracted. But actually, I had been thinking about him all day. "I want to ask daddy directly." A small smile played at her lips."I promised to talk to him more, remember?"
The casual way she said "daddy" now brought back memories of last night,after Howard's proposal.
"Grandma Margaret used to come when I was trying to sleep," Lucy had whispered in the darkness of her bedroom, her small body curled against mine. "She would call me a little mute."*
My arms had tightened around her instinctively as she continued,her voice barely audible. "She told me I was a burden. That if it wasn't for me.daddy would have found a wife already."
"That's not true, sweetheart." I'd stroked her hair, fury building in my chest at the thought of Margaret's cruel words.
Lucy had looked up at me then, hope shining in her tear-filled eyes."I want you and daddy to get married."
"You should have told me sooner, sweetheart," I'd whispered, my heart breaking at how simple the solution seemed in her young mind.
Maybe I'd been wrong about everything - about not belonging, about being out of my depth. The easy affection in her voice suggested she saw us as a real family, regardless of social standing or background. But even as hope bloomed, Margaret Thompson's perfectly controlled voice echoed in my mind: "The Thompson family is very particular about who we trust with our children." The weight of her disapproval hung over me like a sword. Lucy tugged at my sleeve, her eyes bright with enthusiasm as she planned her martial arts pitch to Howard. The trust in her gaze made my heart ache. She wanted this - wanted us - to work. And if I was honest with myself,so did I.
But Margaret would never accept someone like me as her son's wife.
Oh. god.Is this just another hope that was doomed to fail me again?